Something that's true in writing as in life is that the smartest solutions often get overlooked because they're so obvious. Who would think, for instance, that you can improve your gas mileage by watching your tire pressure? It's too easy a fix.
One thing I see constantly in short stories, unedited manuscripts, and even published books is a scenario that plays out like this:
The man in the suit stepped forward.
"I'm sorry," he told the other guests. "I'm being so rude. Anna, this is Adrian Adams."
A college-aged man with long hair nodded his head in Anna's direction.
"Adrian, this is Anna Smith."
Anna waved shyly.
"And this," the man said, indicating a well dressed woman of about forty. "Is Dr. Susanna Hudson."
"Good evening, Dr. Hudson," Anna said.
Can anyone tell me what's wrong with this picture?
Let me put it this way: when is the last time, unless you were conducting a seminar, that you introduced yourself to anyone using both your first and last name?
It just doesn't happen, at least not at a casual dinner party, but for some reason authors consistently ignore this basic tenet of social interaction. Having your characters introduce themselves by first name only--unless, of course, they're in a situation where the use of the last name would be appropriate--is much more true to life and can give the manuscript a more realistic feel.
The man in the suit stepped forward.
"I'm sorry," he told the other guests. "I'm being so rude. Anna, this is Adrian."
A college-aged man with long hair nodded his head in Anna's direction.
"Adrian, Anna."
Anna waved shyly.
"And this," the man said, indicating a well dressed woman of about forty. "Is Susanna."
"Hi," Anna said.
"Susanna's actually a surgeon at the medical center."
"Oh, wow," Anna said. "What kind of surgeon are you?"
Note that this establishes Susanna's role as a doctor without having her awkwardly introduced as "Dr. Susanna Hudson."
I hope this is helpful. I'll continue to post these little tidbits as I think of them.
This is an interesting tidbit of information. In casual settings we seldom introduce people using their last names. Sadly, some people never get introduced at all.
ReplyDeleteThis is one mistake I don't think I've made in my manuscript. Trying to get a handle on the rest of them.
I'm tweeting this. Look out. I have a massive following you know.
ReplyDelete