A Simple Tip: Introductory Dialogue

Something that's true in writing as in life is that the smartest solutions often get overlooked because they're so obvious. Who would think, for instance, that you can improve your gas mileage by watching your tire pressure? It's too easy a fix.

One thing I see constantly in short stories, unedited manuscripts, and even published books is a scenario that plays out like this:

The man in the suit stepped forward.

"I'm sorry," he told the other guests. "I'm being so rude. Anna, this is Adrian Adams."

A college-aged man with long hair nodded his head in Anna's direction.

"Adrian, this is Anna Smith."

Anna waved shyly.

"And this," the man said, indicating a well dressed woman of about forty. "Is Dr. Susanna Hudson."

"Good evening, Dr. Hudson," Anna said.

Can anyone tell me what's wrong with this picture?

Let me put it this way: when is the last time, unless you were conducting a seminar, that you introduced yourself to anyone using both your first and last name?

It just doesn't happen, at least not at a casual dinner party, but for some reason authors consistently ignore this basic tenet of social interaction. Having your characters introduce themselves by first name only--unless, of course, they're in a situation where the use of the last name would be appropriate--is much more true to life and can give the manuscript a more realistic feel.

The man in the suit stepped forward.

"I'm sorry," he told the other guests. "I'm being so rude. Anna, this is Adrian."

A college-aged man with long hair nodded his head in Anna's direction.

"Adrian, Anna."

Anna waved shyly.

"And this," the man said, indicating a well dressed woman of about forty. "Is Susanna."

"Hi," Anna said.

"Susanna's actually a surgeon at the medical center."

"Oh, wow," Anna said. "What kind of surgeon are you?"

Note that this establishes Susanna's role as a doctor without having her awkwardly introduced as "Dr. Susanna Hudson."

I hope this is helpful. I'll continue to post these little tidbits as I think of them.

I'm Back

Well, this is embarrassing. Here I'd promised you a path to fame and fortune, plus a conduit through which you could bask in my literary brilliance on a regular basis, and then I just disappeared for four months. If you ask me it was a bit of a tease.

Of course, I had cause.

The life of a recent college graduate, though slow when compared to the lives of those who, say, are still in college, is by no means a leisurely stroll. In the months since George Mason conferred upon me a bachelor's degree in government and international politics I've been stretching myself so thin and in so many different directions that I'm beginning to think I should give up agenting and become a contortionist.

First there's the internship.

I quite enjoyed, as some of you may remember, interning in New York last summer and so in the months before graduation began searching for another opportunity. I've now been interning with a California-based agency since December and have, under my patient and friendly boss, been entrusted with a great deal more work than I was in my previous position. I never, for instance, interacted directly with authors while in New York but in my current role do so regularly. It's nice.

Beyond that I've lent my alleged expertise to some prospective authors who've paid me to edit their manuscripts and have contributed a series of music reviews (most of which seem, in retrospect, designed to call into public question my taste and good judgement) to the Loudoun Times-Mirror, a local newspaper.

But enough about me.

Let's talk about you guys.

I will, as of this week, be accepting manuscript submissions once again, though I won't be able to feature select authors as often as I'd like. Back when I started this blog, I aimed to feature one author per week. What a quaint notion.

Instead I'll be choosing one manuscript a month to showcase and, in the meantime, will post on books and practical tips for writers. In my capacity as an intern I see hundreds of manuscripts, the overwhelming majority of which could benefit from the same kinds of basic edits. Hopefully posting them will help this site's readers as you work on your projects (and save you editing expenses as well).

So send in the manuscripts! I have my first featured author ready to go and I need a second one for April. And meanwhile keep on writing. I promise I won't abandon you.

This time.